Sat Nam Grounding

 In the beginning of 2016, I went to the Federal States of Micronesia (FSM), to teach Freshmen Literature and Junior and Senior Journalism while developing the campus newspaper at a boarding high school. The following entries are from my journal of my experience. 

Last week, my cousin–Kevin–asked me to apply to teach in Micronesia, where he has been teaching for 3 years. Two of their teachers got fired. They need help, and he knows I am unhappy working in my hometown… I sent my resume and cover letter to the Principal and he immediately responded by saying they would love to have me. I have 48 hours to decide. Flights leave in 2 weeks.

I wanted to go to New York or California to work in publishing. After college, that was my plan. Then I broke off my 4-year relationship/engagement and fell into hiding at my parents’ house. My self-loathing sank in and led to working in my hometown and applying to jobs in coastal cities, hoping to get a bite.

When months passed, I began looking at jobs in cities in Wisconsin (the one place I swore I did not want to be, since I grew up there).

I had a bite with an editorial position in Wausau (Northern WI) just before the offer in Micronesia. I was knocking the interviews out of the park and they were down to me and 1 other applicant.

Do I move up north and start a life in Wisconsin? Or do I take the opportunity of a lifetime?

Sounds silly… traditional job in a frozen tundra, or OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME?

My mind and my heart tend to not get along. My mind is saying, “What the? Micronesia!?! What even is that? Where is that? What if you aren’t cut-out to be a teacher? What if you get sick on an indigenous island? What if… what if…” But my heart is saying, “Are you crazy!? GO!!! You need an adventure. You know this. Let’s go start packing…” It’s only for 6 months. Where do I want to be? What could happen?

My cousin has been there for 3 years and we are close via Email and Social Media so I know what Micronesia is like. It’s remote, indigenous, and tropical. But it’s only 6 months, will I be right back here afterwards?

Inevitably, I know my heart will win. I am going to Micronesia, but if I pretend to be undecided, then maybe I won’t panic. And then maybe my mom won’t panic either.