Sat Nam Grounding

I call her Grandma, Mema (or Me-ma), Gramma, and Grams, but she has many aliases.

My Grandma is not like other grandmas. My Grandma was down on the floor playing with my brother, cousins and I our whole lives. My Grandma laughed as hard as she played and never took a moment with me for granted. My Grandma was young and hip and I once found a leather mini-skirt amongst her possessions.

My Grandma is a badass.

My Grandma cares deeply for her family and worked hard every day of her life to keep her young family strong. Everything she did was for her family. My Grandma protected her children and fought fearlessly for them. My Grandma made an absolute mess of the lives of anyone who hurt her children, even though she is only 5 feet tall.

When I was young, we lived with my Grandma in her trailer. She spent nap times and evenings talking with me about life and love and hopes and dreams. My Grandma wanted the entire world for me and I knew this deep within my bones by the time I was 3 years old.

My Grandma let my brother, cousins and I flip my Grandfather’s mattress off the box spring to wake him on Sunday mornings. She would whisper at the door and count, “1… 2… 3… GO, GO, GO!”

She used to love when the family would get together to compete in Mario Kart tournaments. My Grandma didn’t mind how loud we all could be.

My Grandma used to play the Forest Gump soundtrack during cleaning time and would let us kids sing into the vacuum hose. She gave me her copy of the soundtrack when I was 8.

Even after we moved into our own home, we still spent 3-4 days per week at my Grandma’s for my whole life.

My Grandma taught me how to blow bubbles with my chewing gum; it annoyed my Mother but we laughed anyway. She is always OK with pushing my Mother’s buttons.

She worked hard to upgrade her trailer into a beautiful home that my Grandpa and her built on their luxurious country land. They added swing sets, treehouses, tire swings, a pool and trampoline, and even a deck in the shape of a pirate ship (complete with steering wheel and look-out post) for their grandchildren.

I broke my ankle badly when I was 10 at her house and she took me to the ER, where she tried everything to make me laugh through my pain. She believes that there is always a reason to laugh.

My Grandma loves her dogs and talks to them as if they’re people.

My Grandma used to take me shopping and would ask me, “Please, don’t dress embarrassing this time…” SO I would wear my neon green shirt, with tye-dye jean skirt and rainbow tights with orange sandals. She would still walk through the store with her arm around me, saying to anyone who passed us, “This is my Granddaughter.”

She would let me pull everything out of every cupboard, shelf, dresser, and closet in her house to see what she had and what was new (as if taking inventory) and she would simply smile at me. Up until I was 15, I knew everything my Grandma owned.

My Grandma cries at sad songs in the car while holding my hand.

During the hardest parts of my young life, my Grandma would tell my mother, “Let her be… she’s going to come around.” She always knew I would make it, even when no one else was so sure. She would take me to get massages with her and to yoga classes to sustain me.

My Grandma waited patiently during my partying phase and would sit and talk with me while I was hungover about her life.

She helped me move 10+ times in college and in my young adult life. And never complained, only listened to my hopes for each new phase.

My Grandma laughs at body-fat when it jiggles, including boobs.

We loved to go to the movies together. She would always hoot and whistle in the quiet theater at half-naked men; I would try to hide behind the popcorn bucket.

My Grandma, said when a friend betrayed me, “I never liked her. What a B****…”

I stopped to visit with my Grandma every chance I got for the simple joy of sitting in her sunroom and her conversation. She would make us a sandwich and offer up coffee, no matter the time of day.

My Grandma was my forever dancing partner at family weddings, and did not miss the chance to be at mine, although she could not dance.

My Grandma called me one morning and asked if I was pregnant, out of the blue. She said she had a dream I was… 6 weeks later, I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant.

My Grandma knew I was having a girl and that I would go into labor on a Friday. She was right.

My Grandma survived cancer before I was born. She lived with intestinal issues, diabetes, and asthma for many years.

My Grandma is a fighter, but she always feared she would not make it another year. In turn, she made the most of every moment with the people she loves.

My Grandma has a strong Faith and knows where she’s going when she dies. She told me of it often.

My Grandma had heart surgery a week before my daughter was born in 2020. The back-half of her heart was dead and one of her valves was torn. They were able to repair the valve but could do nothing about the back-half of her heart. My Grandma spent the last year struggling to breathe and in fear of the pandemic. I was unable to see her much.

She had grown distant recently – and I thought it was depression of the isolation like many during the pandemic – but my Grandma had multiple mini strokes over the last few months from her heart condition and lack of blood/oxygen to her brain.

Today, my Grandma is End of Life. She had a massive stroke a few days ago and is now unconscious most of the time. She will be transferred onto Hospice to keep her comfortable as she passes. Today, my Grandma is no longer with us as a force to be reckoned with, but a force to be remembered and celebrated.

Today, my heart is broken. She’s the most beautiful human and biggest influence on my life. I will remember my Grandma for all she is, was, and will continue to be for me and for her family.

~ My Grandma was not like other grandmas. She was mine. ~

My Grandma passed away shortly after this was published. Thank you for reading.